"A vocation comes from the heart of God,
but goes through the heart of the mother."
~St. Pope Pius X~
POSITION: Mother, Mom, Mama
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed,
for challenging permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess
excellent communication
and organizational skills
and be willing to work variable hours,
which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required,
including trips to primitive camping sites
on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments
in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated,
at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph
in three seconds flat in case,
this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating
technical challenges, such as small gadget repair,
mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls,
maintain calendars and coordinate production
of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan
and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
and an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly
and product safety testing of a half million cheap,
plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the
quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include
floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the
same position for years, without complaining,
constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on
a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18
because of the assumption that college
will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary
scheme is that you actually enjoy it
and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays
and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities
for personal growth and free hugs for life
if you play your cards right.
The Most Important Person
The most important person on earth is a mother.
She cannot claim the honor of having built
Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not.
She has built something more magnificent than
any cathedral------a dwelling for an immortal soul,
the tiny perfection of her baby's body.
"The Angels have not been blessed with a such a grace.
They cannot share in God's Creative miracle to bring
new Saints to Heaven. Only a human mother can.
Mothers are closer to God the Creator than any other creatures.
God joins forces with mothers in performing this act of creation."
"What on God's good earth is more glorious than this:
to be a mother?"
~Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty ~
