"Obituary of common sense!"
Today we mourn the passing of an old friend,
by the name of
Common Sense lived a long life
but died in the United States
from heart failure on the brink
of the new millennium.
No one really knows how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago
lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to
service in schools, hospitals, homes,
factories helping folks get jobs done
without fanfare and foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws,
and frivolous lawsuits held
no power over Common Sense.
He was credited with cultivating such
valued lessons as to know when to
come in out of the rain,
why the early bird gets the worm,
and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple,
sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you earn),
reliable parenting strategies
(the adults are in charge, not the kids),
and it's okay to come in second.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution,
the Great Depression,
and the Technological Revolution,
Common Sense survived cultural
and educational trends
including body piercing,
and "new math."
But his health declined when he
became infected with the
In recent decades his waning strength
proved no match for the ravages of well
intentioned but overbearing regulations.
He watched in pain as good people became
ruled by self-seeking lawyers.
His health rapidly deteriorated when
schools endlessly implemented
Reports of a six-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment
for kissing a classmate,
a teen suspended for taking a
swig of mouthwash after lunch,
and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student
only worsened his condition.
It declined even further when
schools had to get parental
consent to administer aspirin
to a student but could not
inform the parent when a
female student was pregnant
or wanted an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his
will to live as the Ten Commandments
churches became businesses,
criminals received better treatment than victims,
and federal judges stuck their noses in everything
from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.
Finally, when a woman, too stupid to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot,
was awarded a huge settlement,
Common Sense threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted
in and out of logic but was
kept informed of developments
regarding questionable regulations
such as those for low flow toilets,
rocking chairs, and stepladders.
Common Sense was preceded in death
by his parents, Truth and Trust;
his wife, Discretion;
his daughter, Responsibility;
and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers:
My Rights, and I.M.A Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral
because so few realized he was gone..............