Toilet out of order.
Please use floor below
In a Laundromat:
Automatic washing machines:
please remove all your clothes when the light goes out
In a London Department Store:
Bargain Basement Upstairs
In an office:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday
please bring it back or further steps will be taken
In an office:
After tea break staff should empty the teapot
and stand upside down on the draining board
Outside a secondhand shop:
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc.
Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
Notice in health food shop window:
Closed due to illness
Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants please stay in your car
Seen during a conference:
For anyone who has children and doesn't know it,
there is a day care on the 1st floor
Notice in a farmer's field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free,
but the bull charges.
Message on a leaflet:
If you cannot read,
this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons
On a repair shop door:
We can repair anything.
(Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter:huh?
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,
it may last a while
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain;
Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charges
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips through Cemetery;
Did I read that right?
© Tina's Prayer Gate
September 21, 2012