10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE PMS

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker
that says, "How's my driving - call 1-800-***-****."
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. You're counting down the days until menopause.
8. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
9. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
10.You just want to punch someone without a reason.
11.if you start to wondering if PMS is an excuse to get away with murder.
12.if you were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person
who got on your nervers to realize I was only supposed to give you 10!

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
AND, the Number One thing only women understand:
1. OTHER WOMEN

Do you know why they call it 'PMS'?
Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.

© Tina's Prayer Gate
July 13, 2012