WHAT IS A TEENAGER?

A teenager is....
.... a person who can't remember to walk the dog
but never forgets a phone number

.... a weight watcher who goes on a diet
by giving up candy bars before breakfast

.... a youngster who receives her allowance on Monday,
spends it on Tuesday,
and borrows it from her best friend on Wednesday

.... someone who can hear his favorite singer 3 blocks away
but not his mother calling from the next room

.... a whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson
but can't make a bed

.... a student who spends 12 minutes studying history
and 12 hours studying for her driver's license

..... a connoisseur of 2 kinds of fine music-
-loud and very loud

.... an enthusiast who has the energy to bike for miles
but is usually too tired to dry the dishes

.... a young woman who loves the cat
and tolerates the brother

..... a romantic who never falls in love
more than once a week

.... a budding beauty who never smiles
until her braces come off

.... a boy who can sleep till noon on any Saturday
he suspects the lawn needs mowing

.... an original thinker who is positive that her mother
was never a teenager.

If I Knew

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you," and certainly there's
another chance to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me,"
"Thank you,"
or
"It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

There are 9 people in the above clipart
Can you find them all?

Bear News

A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday
and headed to the hills to do some bear hunting.
As he rounded the corner on a perilous twist in the trail,
he and a bear collided, sending him and his rifle tumbling down
the mountainside. Before he knew it, his rifle went one way and
he went the other, landing on a rock and breaking both legs.

That was the good news.

The bad news was the ferocious bear came charging at him from a
distance, and he, the preacher could not move.
"Oh, Lord," the preacher prayed, "I'm so sorry for skipping services
today to come out here and hunt.
Please forgive me and grant me just one wish.....
please make a Christian out of that bear that's coming at me.
Please, Lord!"

That very instant, the bear skidded to a halt,
fell to its knees, clasped its paws together and
began to pray aloud right at the preacher's feet.
"Dear God, bless this food I am about to receive....."

Bad Bird

David received a parrot for his birthday.
The parrot was fully grown
with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary.
Every other word was an expletive.
Those that weren't expletives,
were to say the least, rude.

David tried hard to change the bird's
attitude and was constantly
saying polite words, playing soft music,
anything he could think
of to try and set a good example...
Nothing worked.
He yelled at the bird and
the bird yelled back.
He shook the bird and the bird
just got more angry and more rude.

Finally, in a moment of desperation,
David put the parrot in the freezer.

For a few moments he heard the bird squawk
and kick and scream
then suddenly, there was quiet.
Not a sound for half a minute.
David was frightened that he might have
hurt the bird and
quickly opened the freezer door.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto
David's extended arm and said,
"I believe I may have offended you
with my rude language and actions.
I will endeavor at once to correct my behavior.
I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness."

David was astonished at the bird's
change in attitude and was
about to ask what had made such
a dramatic change when the
parrot continued.
"May I ask what the chicken did?"

Tina's Prayer Gate
All Rights Reserved
2002