Does this sound like anybody you know?

I'm a Senior Citizen.....

I'm the life of the party....even when it lasts until 8 p.m.

I'm very good at opening child-proof caps with a hammer.

I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, beano, antacid...

I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you are saying.

I'm very good at telling stories....over and over and over and over...

I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care....

I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians,...

I'm positive I did housework correctly before my husband/wife retired.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.

I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

I'm having trouble remembering simple words like.....................

I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate.

I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.

I'm anti-everything now: ant-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.........

I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

I'm going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors.....absolutely nothing!!!

I'm sure they are making adults much younger theses days.

I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, AARP, IRA'S....

I'm wondering.........if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150??

I'm supporting all movements eating bran, prunes, and raisins.

I'm a walking storeroom of facts.... I've just lost the storeroom.

I'm a senior citizen and I think I am having the time of my life!!!! HA!!

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something.
Our bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb. black belt and blond.
The guy sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player and blond.
The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler and blond.
Think about it, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."


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© Tina's Prayer Gate
September 10, 2012